


Of Gods And Men

by kuonji



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Episode Related: Hathor, Friendship, Gen, Past Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 17:23:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7396621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuonji/pseuds/kuonji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>There was a terrifying weirdness to seeing your enemy pickling in specimen jars on your desk.</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Gods And Men

**Author's Note:**

> Orig. Posted 2007.12.25
> 
> Alternative Links:  
> <http://kuonji14.livejournal.com/14757.html>

"Hi, Sam."

Daniel was leaning in her doorway, looking particularly awkward. This was the first time he'd come to her lab since 'Queen Hathor' had left the base on Tuesday. He'd come in wearing civilian clothes again, she noted.

"Hey. What's up?"

His attention was on the jars on her lab table. She admitted to a similar fascination. There was a terrifying weirdness to seeing your enemy pickling in specimen jars on your desk.

"Oh, uh, I just--" Without finishing the sentence, he came up to the edge of the table, still staring at the foot-high jars. "That's from...?"

"Yup." Straight from Hathor's flaming hot tub. She and Janet hadn't been able to recover too many intact specimens, but what they had would keep them busy for a good while.

"So there's..." Daniel grimaced and put his hands behind his back, like someone tactless faced with a sneezing person. "So there's bits of me in there," he finished. Sam blinked hard, once, reprocessing that in her head.

"Inasmuch as part of the DNA is clearly matched to yours, yes. But since you're the only one she took genetic samples from, that's to be expected."

DNA. The code of life. Sam wasn't sure how much Daniel remembered of what had gone on while under the Goa'uld's spell, but he seemed to realize that they weren't talking about blood. His rundown of Goa'uld Reproduction 101 at the debriefing had cinched that.

"Yeah..."

Personally, Sam was pretty amazed at how well Daniel was taking this. The only parallel she could really imagine was being slipped a roofie and having some of her eggs stolen. She was pretty sure if that happened, she'd be doing slightly more freaking out than simply refusing to wear BDUs for a week.

"Nice shirt," she said, hoping to draw him out. 

Daniel flinched.

Damn it. She didn't know how to do this. "Sorry."

"What? Oh. No, I-- I should go get changed." He didn't move.

It was, actually. A nice shirt, that is. The brown and red plaid brought out the highlights in his hair. Sam had always thought Daniel looked a bit small and naive in his BDUs and field uniforms. Now that she'd been seeing him in civvies day in and day out, though, she realized that that quality hadn't left him.

She wished sometimes that they could have left him in his desert robes. He'd looked strong then. Comfortable.

Daniel licked his lips, obviously deep in thoughts unrelated to wardrobe.

"Every Goa'uld. Every Goa'uld that we fought or, or killed. They were all part human. That makes what I did murder. Of children." He said it so matter-of-factly that it took Sam a while to understand what he was talking about.

Then she remembered Chulak.

She remembered the sound of an MP-5 and shattering glass filled with squeaking screams. She remembered Daniel's tone of voice, thoughtful and matter-of-fact, just like it was now, just before he'd opened fire.

Sam felt her pen digging furrows in her fingers, and she realized that unconsciously, she had tensed up, readying for a similar explosion.

When he spoke, though, it was tired, quiet.

"Sha're and I, we never-- It was my fault, not hers. Some congenital thing. We didn't really feel left out, because childcare there was pretty much a community activity. But, you know, I used to wonder."

Sam sucked in a breath. Kids weren't something they talked about. Not before, when Sam didn't know her team well enough, and certainly not after, when she did. Knowing about the Colonel's son made her feel like she'd gotten a heavy piece of Jack O'Neill's soul.

Daniel quirked his lips, wry. "I didn't think my first, and probably only, stab at fatherhood would be with an alien parasite."

"Jesus." Sam closed her eyes briefly. She hadn't meant to swear. "Daniel. It's not like that. That's--"

"Disgusting? Wrong? Yeah, I know. But it's true, isn't it? How is it any different?" Daniel had jammed his hands into his pockets. He hunched over, like he wanted to be sick, but his face was just pure rage. "I can't believe I let her do that to me."

Sam frowned. Now this, she was sure about. "It wasn't your choice. You were drugged. Practically comatose."

"You don't understand. I was-- She was a goddess! Walking right out of ancient history to talk to me. To _me_. I was special, what was it, _beloved_. Chosen. It was amazing."

Sam shook her head. "That's just the drug talking. Every man on base feels the same--"

"No!" Daniel was shaking his own head now, his hair describing flurried arcs across the nape of his neck. "It wasn't that. I know. Because-- Because I felt the same way when I met Ra." His shoulders were tight, arms tucked into his sides, his head down like he was in a blizzard.

"You... what?" Daniel's mind sometimes jumped too far for Sam to follow.

"I hate them. I hate what they are, what they've done. But don't you see? Everything. All the history and culture and, and, _everything_ \-- that I've spent my entire life studying-- they've _lived_ it. They've _made_ some of it. And even if I don't see them as gods, it's like-- It's like-- But I _hate_ them."

"I get it, Daniel. I do." Daniel looked frustrated. Daniel looked lost.

It'd be like if Albert Einstein came back to life, walked up to her for a chat and tea -- and then afterwards had killed her dog.

"I didn't with Apophis. Thank god. I think, though, that was only because I didn't see him until after he'd taken Sha're and Skaara. He was too human to me already. But Hathor-- dammit."

He squinched his eyes shut.

"Hathor told me about her little luxury boat on the Nile, and how the pyramids looked when they were new-built. She told me about her pharoahs; I asked for a lineage, and she said she would give it to me. She thought I was cute. Indulging her little pet, when all she really wanted was..."

"Oh, oh no, Daniel. Don't think like that." Hell, Sam had grown up both smart and pretty. This, she understood all too well.

"I don't. Really. I'm fine. I'm a _guy_."

"Hey."

Sam rounded the table to Daniel's side. She reached out and wrapped her arms around Daniel's plaid shirt and tense shoulders, around his anger and his regret, his insecurities.

"Sha're," he mumbled. "I-- with a _Goa'uld_." His guilt.

"She'd understand," Sam murmured.

He sighed into her hair, and he hugged her back. Male and female teammates, and somehow it wasn't awkward at all.

"Carter, do you-- whoa! Did I miss the team bonding memo again?" They broke apart as the Colonel made his entrance. Teal'c, a silent but seemingly amused figure, was a step behind.

"Sir."

Daniel flushed dark and began to stutter, but his eyes looked less tight and Sam was pleased.

She saw the squint Colonel O'Neill shot at Daniel, saw him decide to let it go. Things that she could get away with as 'the girl', he couldn't. He smiled at her, warm and wide.

"Who's up for O'Malley's?" He eyed the pickled symbiotes. "I feel like some grilled jumbo shrimp."

Daniel gaped between him and the jars. "Jack, that's disgusting."

"I concur with Daniel Jackson."

"Carter?"

She shook her head, unable to resist the affected hurt in the Colonel's eyes. "I guess the two of us will have double orders, sir."

"There's the right attitude, Captain! Let's go!"

  
END.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This story started as a rewrite of my first Hathor fic, "[A Woman's World](http://kuonji14.livejournal.com/14956.html)", a 5000+ word fic all about Sam and fitting in with the men on her team, with Daniel's experience with Hathor as the key backdrop. For complicated reasons, that wound up unacceptable canon-wise, which is how this story, "Of Gods And Men", came to be.  The two stories share some basic concepts and even some lines, but they mostly went in differing directions. I hope you may give both of them a read. :)
> 
> * * *
> 
> If you enjoyed this story, you might try these:  
>      [A Woman's World](http://kuonji14.livejournal.com/14956.html) (Stargate SG-1), by kuonji  
>      [Potential](http://kuonji14.livejournal.com/8737.html) (Stargate SG-1), by kuonji  
>      [Heart Begone](http://kuonji14.livejournal.com/15257.html) (Stargate SG-1), by kuonji  
>      [A Dangerous Business](http://community.livejournal.com/samcarterfic/11602.html) (Stargate SG-1), by tarimanveri  
>      [Mostly Harmless](http://community.livejournal.com/betacandy_sgfic/2692.html) (Stargate SG-1), by betacandy  
> 


End file.
